


The End of the World is Lonely

by frostytea



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s03 Chat Blanc, F/M, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Identity Reveal, Maybe - Freeform, Sad Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostytea/pseuds/frostytea
Summary: This is my take on Cat Noir's perspective in the Cat Blanc episode because I was sad. The dialog and most of what happens is based off of what happens in the episode, I just added what I though chat might have been doing beforehand and how he might have been feline (omg I'm sorry that's so bad).  I don't know if this is any good but uhhh read it if you want? Adrien hates himself a lot in this, I'm sorry.Basically, Chat has messed up, really bad.He just wants him and Marinette to be together.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Kudos: 21





	The End of the World is Lonely

It’s funny, how lonely the end of the world is.

Honestly looking back, he could only laugh at how everything had played out. Laugh at how he had everything, everything he could only dream of having, but that was the cause of him losing it all. His bad luck must have caught up with him, Cat Noir supposed. Well, he’s not Cat Noir anymore, is he. He hadn’t been Cat Noir for along time now. No. He’s Cat Blanc.

And Blanc everything is. The white hue that tinted his vision held a constant reminder of what he actually is, who he has always been.

A monster.

A failure.

Alone.

Scratching another tally using his ~~monstrous~~ claws into the rusted metal of the toppled Eiffel Tower, he marked his 365th day in the world he had ~~destroyed~~ made. Staring up at the shattered moon, he couldn’t help but wonder what his lady would say if she were here, ~~and not disintegrated at the bottom of the Seine~~. Would she turn to look at him, with a small understanding smile, as she did does to all the akumatised victims, and offer her hand out to help? Maybe even cry with him, mourning all that he, no _they_ , had lost. Would she wrap him in a tight embrace, one that would hold him together, make him whole again, and look up at him with those adoring eyes, tell him how much she loved him, like she had done countless of times only a year ago. Or would she look at him, with disgust and hatred, and see him for what he truly is, the monster who destroyed not just Paris, but the whole world. He knew that he couldn’t blame her if she did, hell, he would do the same if the roles were reversed! He deserved it, every ounce of her imaginary hatred, for that’s all it could be. He had aimed his cataclysm at her, at her! And she had fallen by his hand, they all had. They didn’t deserve it, none of them did, well maybe his ~~father~~ Hawk Moth did.

Did he?

If it were his love, if it were _Marinette_ , wouldn’t he have gone to any length, _every length_ , to save her? He’d like to think that he wouldn’t have terrorized Paris, his home, and have turned innocent people, his friends, his son, into monsters for his own selfish gain, but he couldn’t be sure. And that _terrified_ him.

Maybe it was a good thing that she was gone. She doesn’t get to see him like this. He knew it was selfish, and that made him hate himself more, but he was glad that she would only remember him as her loyal partner, best friend, and ~~purrfect~~ perfect boyfriend, and not this _monster_ , where ever she may now be. He hoped, hoped beyond hope, that there was an afterlife. He couldn’t cope with the idea that he had destroyed everyone, wiped billions of people out of existence, his _friends_ out of existence, _his lady_.

Maybe this was Hell.

It would make sense. Hell is a place of eternal suffering, and by God was he suffering. He guessed that living in the destroyed shell of his home, his home that he destroyed, may cause a person to suffer. On the days where he loathed himself just that little bit more he would roam around the places he would used to go, around his school, the park, the ice rink, his house, and just be consumed by all the memories. The memories of Nino laughing at something he had said, of Alya excitedly ranting about something Ladybug had done, which had always made him chuckle fondly. Of his two close friends love for each other, and how happy he had been for them. Of Kagami, and all the fencing lessons they had spent together, and how proud he used to feel when she would make new friends. Of Max, and the way his face would scrunch up in concentration when playing video games, or of Nathaniel, and the face of pure happiness and relaxation he would make when he was consumed with his drawings. Of Mylene and Ivan, and how good they were for each other, of Juleka and Rose and what relationship that might have bloomed if they were still around. Of Alix and Kim, and their constant bets and races, which would always end in friendly banter. Of Sabrina, and how she would always look out for Chloe, despite her friend not always being the nicest. He even thought of Chloe, his first ever friend, and how she was finally growing into a better person, a kinder person, a person he could be proud to say that he was friends with. He often wondered at what kind of person Chloe could have been if he hadn’t stolen her time. He thought of his bodyguard, and how he would always be there for him, whether he was paid for it or not. He thought of Nathalie, who had grown to become the closest thing he had to a mother, despite that he strongly suspected that she was Mayura. He rarely allowed himself to think of his father. He had thought they were making progress but, well. Only occasionally he visited his mother, who his father had been so viciously protecting. He wondered what she would say or think, if she could see what had happened. He didn’t like what his mind supplied as an answer.

Only on days when he really, really, despised himself, did he allow himself to think of Marinette. Which, if you went off the amount of times he had fallen asleep on her balcony, was extremely often. Just walking down the streets of Paris, caused him to be completely consumed with the memories from what seemed like another life. Memories of her confident smile as Ladybug, the way her hair softly blew against her face as she swung gracefully from roof to roof using her magical yoyo. Of the way her brows would furrow in a cute look of concentration whenever she had a lucky charm that was particularly hard to figure out how to use. How she would instantly relax, her shoulders dropping and breath deepening, whenever he would turn up late to an akuma fight. How she never hesitated to help people, with or without the mask. How her eyes would sparkle with mirth whenever Alya would tell her some facts she had just found out about her alter ego, how she would offer a proud smile whenever Chloe did something for anyone other than herself. How she would get flustered and blush whenever he was in her presence. How she would smile with her eyes, and how they held some much love and adoration. How she would help others whether they would ever know that it was her or not. The way that she would sacrifice her happiness, her well-being for others, again and again. Her ability to fully surrender herself to a task, whether it was making outfits for Kitty Section, or baking macaroons for her classmates. Or the memories that felt like a knife had been repeatedly stabbed in his heart, the memories of when it was just them together. The way her eyes would light up, whenever they made eye contact through her sky light, when he would visit her as Cat Noir. The way their fists would collide victoriously after every fight, and the relieved smile she would always offer him after they had made it through another battle. The times she would arrive to school, bearing handmade gifts that she had spent the little spare time she had making for him. The way her kisses felt, like everything had slid into place, the way her body felt, wrapped tightly against his. The way she had felt like home, more than his house had ever felt.

And now she was gone.

They all were.

Thanks to him.

He is alone.

He hummed the song his mother would always sing to soothe him as a child, when everything was less complicated. Oh, how he wished he could just undo everything, to go back to how everything was.

_“Little kitty on the roof, all alone, without his lady….”_

“Cat Noir?”

He blinked.

Slowly, he turned around. He didn’t know what he hoped for more, that his ears were lying to him, or that somehow, his lady was standing behind him.

It turned out to be the later.

Ladybug was staring at him, with an expression that was a mixture of shock, sadness, and something else he couldn’t quite name.

“My lady? I thought I’d lost you! Oh, I was _feline_ so sad that you were gone!”

It’s funny how easy it was for him to slip back into his old mannerisms, his old persona slipping back on like it had never left. Except it had, as it wasn’t the same, that much was evident from Ladybug’s reaction.

She had her hands up, as if to calm him and to show that she wasn’t a threat, but he didn’t need calming. In fact, he felt too calm. She was backing away from him, and it finally hit him what that third emotion was. It was fear. She was _terrified_ of him.

So much for that hug.

“What’s happened to you?” she asked, her eyes widening as the desperation of the situation started to sink in, “Wait, don’t tell me, we are going to fix everything.”

His head cocked curiously to the side. So, she wasn’t his Ladybug, he guessed it made sense. If she was the same Ladybug that he had cataclysmed, she wouldn’t have come back for him. He felt the sickeningly familiar feeling of selfishness rise up his throat, but he couldn’t help but feel glad.

_He still had a chance._

“Of course we are going to fix everything! Now that you are back!” he danced around her, so relived that his one wish had a chance of coming true.

“And now that you are going to give me your miraculous!” he leaned in to grab off her earrings, his heart rate spiking at the excitement of it all. He was finally going to escape this hell, undo his biggest mistake, save all of his friends, save everyone and be back with his lady! His prayers had been answered!

He was knocked out of his thoughts by Ladybug’s feet colliding harshly with his chest, pushing him away from her.

“My miraculous? What’s wrong with you Cat Noir?!”

What’s wrong with him? Well, he had to admit that there was a lot wrong with him, but she seemed to be talking about his desire to take her miraculous. Surely it was obvious? Oh! Maybe it’s the way he had gone about it. That would make sense. He had been a bit rough and straight forward, although he felt he couldn’t be blamed for that. But of course, this Ladybug didn’t know all that had happened, so she wouldn’t understand this change in behaviour.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude my lady, would you please hand me your miraculous. Please.” He turned away, not wanting her to see his expression. “Cat Blanc has,” he paused, wondering how to phrase ‘cataclysiming the whole world’, “gotten into some mischief.”

Ladybug stopped swinging her yoyo into her protective shield, and her face dropped into an expression of sympathy, one he had seen many times when she spoke to victims after they had been de-transformed. The reminder made his gut clench painfully.

“You’ve been akumatised Cat Noir. You don’t need my miraculous, you need me to de-evilise you.”

She stopped walking towards him, staring up at him with those big, loving eyes. He refused to look at her, not deserving her love.

Her voice softened. “Let me help you.”

That was all that was needed for him to shatter. Tears streamed down his face as his mind struggled to process that this was real, and not just a figment of his desperate imagination. She was there, not scattered at the bottom of the river Seine, right in front of him, wiping away his tears, ready to help him. Just as he rarely allowed himself to desperately dream about, for the past year.

“Save me” he whispered, voice breaking.

“My poor kitty.” she softly breathed, eyes threatening to spill over with her own tears.

Quickly switching back to her responsible “super hero mode”, she began to feel parts of his outfit to try and identify where the akuma had possessed him, all those months ago. He quickly snapped out of his sorrow, when he realised that she was going to take his one shot at fixing things, and having everything that he had once had, taken away from him.

Again.

To answer her question on where the akumatised object was, he pulled her hand to his chest, privately relishing against her touch. Oh, how he had missed it.

“Here, but I’m afraid it’s already broken!”

With that, he reached for her earrings once again, although she was quick to dodge and ended up throwing him on the floor. She scrambled to her feet and hastily threw herself off the side of the building, which caused him to growl. Couldn’t she see what he was trying to do?

“Now you’re breaking more than just my heart, Marinette!” he called after her, leaping off the roof to follow her.

She turned to face him, her face pulled into an expression of pure panic.

She landed on a floating bus harshly, and she scrambled as far back as she could without falling off to get away from where he had just landed.

“What did you just say?” she asked in shock.

“Give me a hug…… Marinette!” he called out playfully, his right hand glowing with the all too familiar signs of a cataclysm.

“You’re wrong! I’m not Marinette!” She quickly leapt from car to car, with Cat Blanc hot on her heels. “It’s impossible! I never gave anything away!” she yelled as he dived for her.

Ladybug dodged the attack and yoyo-ed up behind a leg of the fallen Eiffel Tower.

He landed a few rows above her, and began to slowly walk away from her, clearly looking for her.

“I will find you my lady, and when I do, you will hand over your miraculous!” He honestly couldn’t understand why she was resisting him so much, didn’t she want this too?

He felt her tackle him from behind and together they fell to a lower level of the tower, she grabbed his baton and snapped it in half, but to no luck.

“There’s a faster way to make this end, you know. You just need to hand me your miraculous!” he pleaded, having her backed up to the edge of a metal plank.

His partner stared him down and shouted “Never!” in anger.

He was getting aggravated himself.

Still, he let her call her lucky charm, if only for the nostalgia. If all went to plan, she will never be needing to call for a lucky charm again.

She caught the poker dot erasure that fell from her yoyo, and he noticed how her eyes widen and the shrunk in the realisation that she couldn’t think of a single plan that she could use to help defeat him. He sighed in relief, he couldn’t afford to fail, and it seemed that even her lucky cham was letting him succeed. After all, her lucky charm is never wrong.

“You know that if we merge our miraculouses, we will be granted one wish, whatever we want. My wish would be to fix everything, so that we could be in love again, and have a hamster too. We always dreamed of having one, and we could call it-“, he was cut off from taking her earrings by Ladybug flipping him to the ground. She grabbed his belt, and tore it apart, but her efforts were futile.

It only made him angrier.

“You’re not even listening.” He sighed; eyes trained to the floor. “You don’t understand.” His eyes remained focused and emotionless as he watched her swing her yoyo into her painfully familiar attack position. He calmly aimed a cataclysm at the floor by her feet and watched as she fell into the Seine.

He sighed, staring after her in remorse, knowing full well that she will meet her future counterpart, along with all the citizens of Paris down there. But it was necessary that she saw this, this monstrous side of him, to understand just how badly he had messed up, and how merging their miraculouses together was their only chance at the life they once had. He just hoped she would be able to forgive him.

* * *

Only five or so minutes later, he heard the tell-tale sound of Ladybug’s yoyo whiz behind him. He steeled himself, preparing for the worst.

“What did you do to them?!” she demanded, hatred and fury seeping into her voice.

“I didn’t mean to.” He answered softly, his demons threatening to take over. He couldn’t deal with this dreaded confrontation today, or any day. That’s the only good thing about destroying everyone in the world, he didn’t have to try and come up with a decent explanation on why he had made his mistake.

“Our love did this to the world Marinette! Can’t you see! I was so afraid of losing you!”

That sounded awfully familiar.

Maybe he was just like his father after all.

Maybe that’s why she wasn’t helping him, she didn’t want to fix it. She hated him too much that she would rather let everyone stay dead than be with him. His worst fears had come true.

Not that he could blame her of course.

But it was enough for him to finally snap.

“Let’s face it Marinette, the simple truth is you don’t love me anymore! So, I may as well destroy you, me, our memories… everything!”

He raised a giant cataclysm, much like that infamous one from a year ago, up at the sky. He could hear Ladybug’s screams behind him but he couldn’t bring himself to turn to look at her. This was for the best; this way, she wouldn’t have to be stuck with monstrous him and he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain. It was almost bittersweet. He closed his eyes, ready for oblivion when he felt Ladybug pounding on his back.

“Ok! OK! I will give you my miraculous Cat Noir!” she screamed desperately, trying everything she could to gain his attention.

He knew that she was only doing this to save herself and everyone else but, in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. His lady was finally, _finally_ , willing to be with him.

He stopped the cataclysm and turned to face her. He smiled down softly at her, before saying, “It’s not Cat Noir anymore, it’s Cat Blanc.”

She looked up at him, with tears glistening in her eyes, full of love again.

Or maybe he was tricking himself into believing they were so.

“You will always be Cat Noir to me.” She whispered back.

She slowly began to lean towards him, her lips coming closer and closer to his own. Time seemed to freeze, this must be a dream. Otherwise, he really was going crazy. There was no way that Marinette was right here, in front of him, and leaning in to kiss him. Either that, or he was in Heaven. Although that couldn’t be possible.

It turned out that he was right after all, she wasn’t going to kiss him. She instead grabbed the bell that hung off his costume and smashed it. He watched on, in a daze, as the dark butterfly fluttered gently out of the cursed object. It was almost hilarious how one small, elegant creature could cause so much destruction and despair. He would have laughed if he wasn’t about to break down and cry.

Man, life really hates him.

He watched on in a weird state of calm as Marinette went through the motions of purifying the rotten butterfly, ones that he had seen countless of times before. He was waiting for the crash, for all his emotions to hit him, sure that they were coming at any moment now. He winced, preparing for the breakdown in front of the love of his life.

But there never was one.

* * *

Cat Noir blinked as he looked round him. He had no idea how had ended up on top of a lob sided Eiffel Tower, with the river Seine flooding the streets around him. The unmistakeable pure white of a purified akuma flew into the palms of his hands, and he cradled the butterfly carefully, trying his best not to let his claws harm the innocent creature. Well, turned innocent, he guessed.

He looked up to see Ladybug staring at him, relief flooding her face.

“Marinette! What happened?”

Her face fell, and for the life of him, Adrien couldn’t figure out why. Surely they had just won a battle?

“You’re still calling me Marinette, you’re not supposed to know who I am.”

But she knew his identity?

Suddenly, Bunnyx appeared in a bright glowing circle.

“Mini-Bug! You did it!”

Ahh, not _his_ Ladybug.

He watched as the two conversed about what to do with her lucky charm, (which was an erasure?), but if he was being honest, he couldn’t fully focus on their conversation. He was feeling a bit out of it.

He watched as Ladybug turned to stare at her lucky charm, and then at Bunnyx, and watched as a triumphant smile lit up across her face. She then ran and wrapped him up in a tight hug. He didn’t know why, but he felt like all the pieces of him had finally shift back into place, (although he had never remembered them not being).

“I’m going to fix everything Cat Noir, I promise!” She said to him, before turning off to run into the glowing circle that led to Bunnyx’s burrow.

He watched her go, with a small smile on his face.

“I know you will”, he breathed.

And then they were gone.

* * *

It finally dawned on Adrien what they were talking about, Ladybug had said something about that if she were to use her magical ladybugs here, he would still remember her identity.

But was that really a bad thing?

He thought back fondly on all the memories he had of the two of them being together since they had found out each other’s identities, and he couldn’t help but smile. He was definitely the happiest he could be when he was with her, with the mask, or not. He was her home. He felt like he had realised that before, but couldn’t remember when. His mind suddenly cast back to some of his more recent memories, of finding out his father was Hawk Moth, and being akumatised. Only then did he fully take in the state that Paris was in.

He blinked owlishly, his heart sinking deeper and deeper as he took in all the damage he had caused. He didn’t know how this time travel worked, whether he will just suddenly disappear and go back to the ‘fixed world’ Cat Noir, or if he would be trapped here forever.

Either way, he felt like he needed to explore, to see just what of a monster he had become.

He just hoped it wasn’t the latter, he felt like he had already spent too long of a time here.

My God, the end of the world seemed lonely.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed, please leave comments if you want to! This is my first miraculous fanfic thing so please be nice ahaha.


End file.
